No baby need to be pleased

Do you recognize it when you hear a tip or get exposed to new knowledge and can only regret that you did not hear it the year before? Or ten years ago?

It happened to me yesterday.
I met Iris Duvdevani yesterday. She is Developmental Therapist and an amazing woman.
Iris is a Feldenkrais teacher for twenty years and one of the first Developmental Counselors in the country. She is full of experience and knowledge.
I stayed to listen to her class.

One sentence that I heard in her lecture, I continued to resonate throughout the rest of the day.
“No baby has a need to be pleased. Babies need love. This is an existential need. They need to get touch, they need to be hugged. That too, is an existential need. Yet no baby (and no adult) needs to be pleased by others”.

The mothers were surprised. “Could you please refine what you said?”
Many of us carry our motherhood, for various reasons, with feelings of guilt. We are afraid that our baby would be upset. We are worried that we are not “good enough moms”.
We need to understand, that having his term is not part of the infant’s development needs. These are based on sensory, motor and emotional stimulation.

I consider myself self-aware mother. Today, I realized suddenly how much I worry all the time perhaps my children are not happy. Will they like the lunch I prepared for them? Will they like the idea they still do not have a mobile phone despite the fact that most of their friends already have it? Even when I know what is good for them and correct them another little doubt always popping. Are they satisfied?

So to all those parents with babies: I hope this Tip comes at the right time for you:

Babies need, touch, movement, sound. They need to be exposed to different stimuli, different feelings, and different textures. They need to be put and get comfortable in different positions like: on their back, on their abdomen, on their sides.

They need you to love them, hug them and kiss them.

But really they do not need to be always pleased by you…

Tamar Rozeman

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